9 weeks!

Well my reprieve was short lived. Yesterday was a terrible day just like I knew it would be. I tried to eat to ward off the nausea, then I brushed my teeth and it all came right back up. I was sick the rest of the day. I also had tons of cramping and some very sharp pain.

Well today I woke up to SPOTTING. My heart took a nose dive. I called the Dr. and they worked me in. I was just fighting tears and could barely tell the nurse what was going on, Dr. Prafke examined me and said my cervix was nice and closed. Then she did an ultrasound. I KNOW my uterus has grown and is not nearly as retroverted as it was b/c she didn't have to position that wand in such a way that it tortured me and made me squirm. She found the baby and the heartbeat right away. I couldn't see the heartbeat from where I was (and with all the shaking from my tears of relief), but I was relieved enough to take their word for it. They gave me a picture and the baby is definitely bigger. I think I can even see an arm. She said that I would probably have more stretching pain and possibly more bleeding because of the septum in my uterus (oh joy).

Justin would not look at the screen. He hasn't wanted to see any of the pictures or be involved at all so far. Just like me, he's afraid to let himself get excited and possibly be disappointed. But unlike him I need to see that baby. I wish I could see it every day. The nurse was pretty worried about him.

I am just so thankful to still be pregnant. And to be having another ultrasound on Tuesday. I'm constantly terrified that tomorrow I won't be. And I am incredibly emotional. All the time. I am probably going to rent a doppler so I can check on baby's heartbeat at home until (and if) I can feel movement.

Picture's later. Right now I'm sick again.